You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth
Your job interferes with your drinking
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat
You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 6th food group
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar
Every woman you see has an exact twin
You fall off the floor
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops
Hey - 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger - screw dinner!
The glass keeps missing your mouth
John Howard starts making sense
Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says "Hi" when you come in...
You think the four basic food groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol and [wo]men
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive
Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk... you're just sober.... - HI OCIFER!!!!!
Roseanne looks good
You don't recognise your wife unless seen through the bottom of a beer glass
That damned pink elephant followed you home again
You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store
You're as jober as a sudge
You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you can remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Waikiki
You've fallen and you can't get up
Beertender! Get me another bar!!
The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering
When hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle - please pass the ice pack...